Well check for Bug

Today was Riley's well-check, NOT March 13th like I originally thought. Oops! That's what confirmation phone calls are for, right?

Anyway, we got away vaccine free (until next year, dun dun dunnnnn...) and I'm happy to report that his growth is off the charts. No more failure to thrive for him!

We mutually agreed, though, that we think he has his first fibroma. It rose up fast and large, and I'll be doing serial photos with scale to see if it keeps growing. He also has a spot on his cheek that we're keeping an eye on.

Because she couldn't determine the nature of the possible fibroma (dermal vs. plexiform,) we're both researching when he needs a full-body MRI, and who refers for that, so that we can check for fibromas on the inside in his muscles, on his nerves, and on his spine.

He has some mild tibial bowing, but nothing that she feels needs to be seen by ortho.

I came home and cried.  I'm not going to lie to you. To have my fear confirmed, to know that the disease is progressing and so must we, is humbling. I thought we'd skate by, just dealing with the learning delays and the minor cosmetic issues.  To know that this is developing into MORE, that there is more room for it to all grow and become worse... well, it's something I already knew, but had been able to bury my head in the sand until today.

Still, though, he remains happy and healthy for the time being, and that's all that matters.  My fears cannot govern our day to day life; instead we must continue on in our pleasant existence and hope for the best.

Lucky Brew

Hello again, Madd Cats! What on EARTH is this, three posts in three weeks? You'd almost think I'm back on my game or something.

Today's tutorial features not only the "Luck Potion" from the "Love Potions" collection over at Madd Style, but it also features my new Bdellium green bamboo smokey eye brushes!

Products used: IT Cosmetics Hello Lashes mascara, UD 24/7 in Perversion, NYX shadow base in white, MSC Optimus Primer, Witch's Brew, Steampunk, Acid Bath, and Luck Potion.

Bdellium green bamboo smokey eye brushes, numbers 777, 769, and 781

Prime, prep, and line your eye.

Pick up some Acid Bath on your 781 brush.

Apply to duct.

With your 769 angled contour brush, pick up some Witch's Brew. I love this colors, it's so many colors in one. Forest green, golden yellow, deep gray... it's MAGIC.

Apply to inner 2/3rd's of the lid.

Back to the 781 with your Steampunk.

Hit up that outer 1/3rd and cut your crease with the Steampunk.

Now, with your 777 brush, pick up some Luck Potion.

Dust that over your brow, and gently blend down into the rest of the eye.

Here you can see how it has an almost teal shift to it.

Lime green sparkles on the inner brow.

The entire look together.  Perfect night look when you want something that will really stand out in the crowd.

Stay Madd, Darlings!

Neurofibromatosis on national television!

I have to tell you guys, I almost pee'd with the knowledge that the very popular Fox TV show "Bones" was going to be adding scenes that addressed NF!

Show writer Michael Peterson wrote the content in from a very personal place, as his young daughter is also affected by NF.

There is a full interview here, but there was one answer that struck home for me:

As we say in the episode, NF, there is no cure, there is no treatment. We want to not only spread awareness, but we want to find a cure in our daughter’s lifetime. So that’s what we’re dedicated to: first to tell people what it is, and then we want to do whatever is necessary to help people out. So that’s our number one thing. We are blessed to have this opportunity to reach out and tell an audience of 10 million people, “Here’s this thing you may not have heard of.” 

Thank you, Mr. Peterson.  Thank you for spotlighting this common but potentially devastating disease, and raising awareness.

For those in need of an update on Bug: Speech and Occupational therapy are slow going, but we're getting there. Riley has finally mastered walking on his toes (though not walking backwards,) and is gravitating more and more towards silverware and "real" cups and plates.

His vocabulary has expanded already in the three short months we've been working with the therapists, including now being able to say his cousin's name, "Hi," "Bye," and, much to my chagrin, "Bitch" if he hears someone else say it.

His cafe-au-lait spots are growing, and his last MRI confirmed lesions on his brain, but we're not worried.  We have a well-check coming up in March, where I will raise some concerns about mast cell overactivation and the itchies he gets sometimes, as well as the growth of his legs.

All in all, we're progressing forward in a positive way.  Thank you to all of you who continue to follow our journey with NF1. Your support is invaluable, and I promise - I'll post more often!

Curious Soul

I've been trying desperately to get out of my makeupless funk lately, so I decided to ask some of the fabulous Madd Style fans for color suggestions for my latest tutorial.  Soul Dust was number one on the list.

Here I'll pair it with Curiouser and Curiouser from the Alice in Wonderland collection, as well as Giggleberry.

Assemble your brushes. Top to bottom: fluffy shadow brush, tapered crease brush, angled shadow brush, fluffy blending brush.

Assemble your products! Top to bottom: IT Cosmetics "Hello Lashes" mascara, UD Psychadelic Sister liner, UD Perversion liner, MSC Optimus Primer, Curiouser & Curiouser, Soul Dust, Giggle Berry, and NYX shadow base in white.

Apply your primer and base to a nice clean eye.  Remember, if it's been a bit since you've washed your face, a wet wipe is a good way to just touch up and remove the oil that may have accumulated since your shower in the morning.

Tight line your lower lashline with Psychadelic Sister.

Grab your Soul Dust. This is such an awesome color. As you can tell, it's a lovely blue with a red color shift and red sparkle. It's hard to capture on camera, but trust me, it's amazeballs.

Apply with your fluffy shadow brush by patting it on to the inner 3/4th of your lid. You can kind of see the red shift of the Soul Dust in this photo.

Grab that tapered crease brush! Grab that Curiouser & Curiouser! Curiouser & Curiouser is a lovely plummy purple with aqua sparkles. Also, I love this brush, it's so incredibly versatile and it's synthetic, too!

Pat C&C on the outer corner of your eye, and cut that crease with it. If you enlarge this photo, you can see the aqua sparks.

Use your fluffy blender to gently, gently blend C&C into Soul Dust.

With your tapered shadow brush, you want to apply Giggle Berry with a gentle sweeping motion from your tear duct to your brow as a highlight. Don't blend it down into C&C much at all.

You'll notice that after blending, the aqua in C&C really plays off the Soul Dust, and the pink in Giggle Berry brings out the red. 

You're also going to put a little bit of Perversion over the Psychadelic Sister at this point, just to tone it down a bit. 

Add your mascara...

Glance over at the dog...

And Voila! An awesome multi-dimensional look with some kick ass colors!

Crunchy without the woo.

 "I was deep in the woo for a little while. I wanted that home birth for theoretical baby number three, right down to researching medical texts for instructions on abating post-partum hemorrhage for Pater Pueri so that he could keep me from bleeding out if I needed it. And then someone I know (on the internet,) had a tragic, tragic home birth. It opened my eyes. It made me realize that the quiet, serene home birth I envisioned for myself was just that - for myself. It was selfish, it was stupid, and above all, it was putting my child last."  


Those were my words, above, after reading through the blog "Hurt by Homebirth." (http://hurtbyhomebirth.blogspot.com)

There's a lot of drama on the interwebz right now between that nutball Gina over at The Feminist Breeder, and Dr. Amy Tuteur. I won't lie - I side with Dr. Amy.

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a midwife. I wanted to be an ARNP with a midwifery bridge, working with a like-minded high-risk OB to help women who wouldn't otherwise receive the gentler care they would have had their pregnancies been low-risk.  I wanted to be a medwife.  I dreamed of starting that particular model of medwifery and opening up a whole new world, a new niche, a new experience.

The sociopolitical climate of the world of midwifery right now has suspended those dreams, though, forever to be tucked back into the recesses of my box of hopes and dreams, someday to be realized but not now.

I also firmly believe in vaccinations, medication, and western medicine.

This leaves the conundrum for many... how do we find the balance between our crunchy urges and the woo that is so prevalent? How do we keep from getting wrapped up in the woo and the brainwashing, mob mentality that is running roughshod over the birth and baby/child community?

The answer is not simple. It's willpower. It's research. It's taking sides and standing tall and firm, no matter how unpopular it may make you with certain friends.

I'm still a crunchy mom. I believe in extended breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, extended rear-facing car seating, and eating as locally, organically, and healthfully as possible within one's means. I'm anti-circumcision, I cloth diapered, I recycle and upcycle, I garden sustainably.  But I also acknowledge the bad that comes with the good, and I acknowledge that every decision comes at a cost.

All I ask of you, whether I've gained or lost my popularity with you from this post, is that you consider the same.

Dark Cupid - red and black look

So, the request was recently made for a red and black look. I agonized over what direction I wanted to take this in.. go superdark and goth, make it smokey, more red than black... Finally, I decided on a smoky black with red.

This WILL be a glasses tutorial.

Assemble your products. IT cosmetics mascara, NYX Shadow base in white (Quick note here - you reall need a black base for this look, but I don't have one and desperately need base, so this had to do.)UD 24/7 in Perversion, and MSC Optimus Primer, Ruby, Winter Rose, and Stormhold Ruby.

Glasses! Brushes! Top to bottom: fluffy shadow brush, medium angled shadow brush, sharply tapered pencil brush, medium contouring brush, large contouring brush, fluffy medium shadow brush.

Put on your primer and base.  I used just a touch of base, because I really didn't want the colors of this to be changed, I just needed that little extra "stick" for these colors

Line your waterline with UD 24/7.

Pick up some Winter Rose with your medium contour brush.

Pat liberally into your duct area.

Time for some Ruby. Pick up a good amount on the angle of the brush.

Apply to 2/3's of your lid, extending above your natural crease.

With your stiff, tapered pencil brush, pick up a good amount of Stormhold Ruby.

Keep your medium shadow brush on hand.

Do the same with your large contour brush.

DRAW IN your Stormhold Ruby.  Don't worry, it's a hot mess at first.

Use your shadow brush to gently bring in the sStormhold Ruby and distribute it on to the outer 1/3rd of your lids and into the crease.

You want your end result to look like so.

Add your glasses, and you're ready for a sexy valentine's night out!