What makes a woman's course of action the right choice or the wrong choice?

Out of snark for the evening, I find myself sitting here wondering what truly makes one's course of action "right" or "wrong".

I've been told many times that the manners in which I chose to see my pregnancies through were wrong.  I asked for an induction at 40 weeks with my first.  I asked for pain medication.  I didn't stop my psych meds.  I didn't breastfeed with my first because of my psych meds.  I've been accused of being filled with fear and willfully ignorant, of being a bad mother, of being a sellout to the art I wish to pursue, of supporting Big Medicine in their conspiracy to ruin all things beautiful about motherhood.

By that token, I've thrown around a few accusations of my own.  I've judged friends and strangers for their willingness to undergo major elective surgery despite the risks it posed to themselves and their babies. I've accused high risk women who choose to vbac and vba2c at home or unassisted of being careless because they were unable to find out how their c/s were closed and therefor didn't know their risk of rupture.  I've gotten into pissing contests with others about whose opinion is better, safer, more popular, more knowledgeable, more... right.  And for what?  To win an argument in one instance?

There are few things I know for certain.  I know that I'm comfortable (if defensive when attacked) with the decisions I've made for myself, and I know that I can choose to remember that I don't know all of the details when it comes to others, as well as kindly educate those who are willing and dismiss those who aren't.

Birthing has, quite frankly, become a venomous business.  Communities designed to offer support and camaraderie are filled daily with vitriolic judgement and disdain.  I think it would do the sisterhood as a whole a great deal of good to step back and remember one thing:  We may choose different paths, we may not agree, we may find errors or room for improvement, but in the end we're all still sisters, and no one is an island.  No one should have to be.