Whip it! Whip it good!

FlogYoBlog time, baby!  Oh yeah!!!  *dances around in her Devo flower-pot hat*

(If you don't know Devo, then you're sadly lacking in your education.)

So, here are the rules, ripped straight from their maker!  (Who, incidentally, is one of the single awesomest Blogoddesses around.  For serious.  Would this face lie?)

1. Follow Brenda's blog. (if you haven't already done so.  And perhaps follow mine, as well.  Again, if you haven't already done so.)
2. Grab the FlogYoBlog bubbly button and post it on your sidebar. 
3. Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL (not your homepage) below. 
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post.
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (I've extended the closing time by the way, to accommodate the non-aussie peeps).
7. A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.
8. And lastly, have lotsa fun.  (And wine.  Let's totally have lotsa wine.)

Dem Boobs, Dem Boobs, Dem... Dry Boobs.

My boobs have been having an identity crisis lately.  It's a pretty significant one, I think.  The subject comes up daily, sometimes multiple times a day.  I try to avoid them, so that I can avoid that uncomfortable silence that inevitably follows their twin chorus of "Hi, we're your boobs, and we're having an identity crisis."  Seriously, how do I respond to that?


Complete avoidance is impossible, though.  Our interactions are something like this:

Me:  Hi boobs.  How are ya today?

Boobs: We're sad.  Look, we're looking down at the floor with our pointy nipple-eyes.  We're having an identity crisis.


Me:  Oh?  *uncomfortable silence*  Uhh... Umm... Why?  You're boobs.  Don't you generally do... boob things?  Like hang out?  I try not to put you in a bra, so you've got way more freedom than most of your other boob friends.


Boobs:  Yeah, we know.  And really - we appreciate that freedom.  Our problem is that we're dry.  


Me:  Oh, well I can fix that!  Here, have some nourishing lotion with vitamin E!


Boobs:  No, not like that.  See, we see you feed the baby, and we know that the milk you're giving him isn't from us.  Because, you know, we're dry.  This is the fault line for our shattering identity earthquake.  We mean, logically we know that you're giving him artificial milk because you're taking a couple of medications that you really can't go without right now, but we feel cheated.  We dried up suddenly and traumatically, and we're quite upset about it.


Me:  Oh.  Yeah, I can totally see that.  Oh look, brain and conscience are here!  Let's get them in on this discussion!


Brain:  Hey Boobs!  Lookin' good today, ladies!  You've got some super-hot circulatory action goin' on.  No worries, you can totally thank me later.


Boobs:  *stares*  Really, Brain?  Really?


Conscience:  So, I totally didn't mean to eavesdrop, Boobs, but I heard everything you said, and I'm right there with you.  I feel SO GUILTY about all of it, your drying up and Jackie taking meds and Brain just being brain... it makes me want to cry.  I even feel guilty about the fact that Leg went off and got herself broken, which is why you dried up to begin with!  It's totally ALL MY FAULT.


Brain:  Oh shit.  Look at what ya'll did.  Conscience is crying now.


Me:  Okay, hold it.  This is not going to turn into a three ring circus.  Brain, do you have anything useful to contribute?


Brain:  Well, that depends.  I do, out of deference for Boobs, go ahead and automatically make their pointy nipple-eyes hard every time the baby cries, as well as make them ache.  You know, 'cuz they're boobs.  That's what they're made for, amirite?


Me:  Right on.  You just keep on keepin' on.  Not like any of us could persuade you to do otherwise.  Conscience, is there any reasoning with you on this one?


Conscience:  No.  *sobs*  I'M SO SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING!  I DESERVE TO DIE IN A FIRE!


Me:  *mutters*  Drama Queen.  *looks at Brain*  Can you take her out of here?  I'll deal with you guys later.


Boobs:  Now do you understand, though?  We're boobs.  We were put on your body primarily to nurse your offspring.  Sexual pleasure and looking awesome are just fringe benefits.  You let us do our job briefly, and then it was abruptly and traumatically taken away from us.  Now we're bereft.  What are we to do?


Me:  Oh.  Well, I... uh... *clears throat*  I'm really sorry.  I... I got nothin' else.  Can I offer you that nourishing lotion with vitamin E as a consolation prize?


And with that, my friends, my Boobs simply shake their heads sadly and wander away, until the next time I feed the baby.  Then the cycle starts all over again.

Logically, I know that relactation is not one of my most brilliant ideas.  Oh, I have no doubt that I could achieve it - and fairly easily, at that.  But what would it accomplish?  I would need to wean off of three different meds, and risk at best some very painful and at worst some very dangerous consequences.


Bug, I suspect, couldn't really care less.  There's still ample bonding and skin-to-skin during feedings.  Also, he's leading himself to solids, so it may be a non-issue here very shortly.  Health-wise, it's a non-issue completely.  


So where is the sense in all of this wistfulness and mourning over our lost breastfeeding relationship?  Why can't Boobs just suck it up, rub some dirt in it, and move on?  Why can't Conscience just get over her guilt?  Why can't Brain stop leading the mutiny on the bounty?


Because - breast is best.  For all parties involved.  People will try to placate us with "Well, at least you got *some* breastfeeding time in," but that won't help.  I don't disagree, and I *AM* thankful for the time we had.  But I would be a dirty liar if I said I didn't wish with every bottle of formula I make that it had been longer.  That we were still doing it today.

I learned to forgive myself with Kinder Major - she wasn't breastfed at all.  I will learn to forgive myself with Bug, too.  It's just going to take time.  Time, and a lot of "why relactating isn't a good idea" talks with Boobs.


Ladies, don't take your Boobs for granted.  And for those of you who haven't/can't/didn't (for whatever reason) breastfeed who are having similar talks with your Boobs... well, best of luck to you.  I hope you can make more headway with yours than I have with mine.

Wordless Wenesday: Singin' (and dancin') in the rain!

What memes may come...

Some of you may have noticed that there has been very little content and a whole lot of memes here, lately.  For that, I offer my deepest apologies.

It is simultaneously end of block/beginning of block for my classes.  (We go in nine-week cycles of two three credit classes.)  That means I was busily cramming in an attempt not to bomb my finals, and now am scrambling to set a decent, productive pace.  Devoting that much brain power to school leaves me with very little energy for original thought.  I've neglected other things as well, so don't feel singled out.  The Need-A-Bag? project hasn't seen me in three weeks and won't see me for another week to two weeks at the least, I've got a good five or six loads of laundry that have been sitting forlornly in a corner for two weeks, and I don't remember the last time I painted my toenails.

I promise, there will be more original thought and rant and rhetoric and all the other fun things that make Accidentally Mommy so awesome, just... not right now.  Right now, you get memes.  Mostly picture ones, at that.

Love and kisses!

-AM

iHappy.

 Brenda over at Mummy Time (responsible for bloggy debauchery such as FlogYoBlog,) has brought us another awesome meme:  iHappy Monday.  Okay, so, this one is simple and awesome.  Grab your iPhone (or other camera phone, she's been feeling generous...) and take a few random shots.  Or, pick a few random shots from your camera roll.  You know, whatever.  It's all flexible.  Then, once you've posted your pretties, surf on over to Bren's specific iHappy Monday post and post yourself a thumbnail on her linky.  And check out everyone else's.  And smile.  We're all doing this for one main reason - to share smiles.  God knows we need smiles...

SwampHead Brewery's Midnight Oil

Beer, kids, and kittens.  Yep, that's pretty much what keeps me happy. ;)

The latest lack of Physician Integrity when it comes to Genital Integrity, or "How Cornell University has just lost all of my respect and gained my ire."

Before I go much further, I want to make one thing very clear:  I am an intactivist.  I am quieter about it than most, because that's how I work, but I am one none-the-less.  My intactivist standpoint extents to ALL children, not just boys.  Genital mutilation is genital mutilation is genital mutilation.  The blighted anthropologist in me recognizes religious and cultural values placed on genital mutilation, but the mother and humanist in me refuses to say that it's acceptable.

My son is intact.  I have spoken to many parents about keeping their sons intact.  I have held partners as they wept over the cruelties they suffered as infants and the complications and pain they endured as adults.  I have held mothers as they wept when they realized the enormity of what they unwittingly allowed to be done to their sons.  I have gone the gambit from debates with rabbinical figures and physicians who refuse to acknowledge the current (and correctly) changing world-wide stance to anonymously penning heated editorials on the subject.  (Which, I am proud to say, I will be anonymous no longer.)

In a culture that is so hell-bent on sexual revolution and progression, we defile and maim the most sacred symbols of humanity with nary an eyeblink in most situations.  Male infant circumcision is routine and clinical in most cases, done without anesthetic in all cases, and carries hundreds of possible complications including the very real and very rarely spoken of, most devastating complication of them all:  death.

There is a growing number of us that are working our asses off in grass-roots organizations to bring to light the atrocious and barbaric practices still going on in our "first world" country today.

Recently, we were shocked and appalled to see that the AAP was considering changing their standpoint of Female Infant Genital Mutilation. In a movement they termed "an attempt at harm reduction," they considered implementing a new wording in their policy on FGM to allow physicians to perform a "ritual nick" on femle infants to satisfy religious and cultural expectations and to avoid the exportation of infants to countries where full FGM was expected and routine.  After huge public outcry, the AAP backpedaled as fast as their little legs could take them and not only retracted their proposed changes, but also scrabbled to make "clarification statements" on their position.

Now we are slapped in the face with news of a researching physician at Cornell University who appears to have been practicing his own twisted form of FGM and abuse, all in the sanctioned name of research.  Dan Savage added his very public recognition to a piece by bioethicist Alice Dreger that outlines exactly why Dr. Dix Poppas is a monster. 

It's not just that he's using pediatric subjects to further his research on a "nerve-sparing" technique of clitorectomy performed solely for archaic cosmetic and social purposes.  He's also (with the consent and observation of parents,) following up annually with these girls to "test their level of sensitivity," using either a hand-held vibrator or hand-held cotton swab.  Himself.

As an intactivist, I am enraged beyond words.  As a parent, I am horrified and devastated.  As a woman, I am left feeling violated just by reading his research.

This is a man who has continued to cut on female children for zero purpose.  Unlike MGM, there is NO DATA LEFT AT ALL that even remotely supports the use and research into routine clitorectomies.  (Unlike MGM, where there are still a lot of incorrect notions from the last 50 years to dispel.)  NOT ONLY has he continued to cut these girls in the name of science, he is also doing what would equate to molestation in any other case, on a routine basis, with the approval and indeed the witness of their parents.

I ask you, my readers, to get involved here.  Spread the word.  Cry out to the powers that be that Dr. Poppas is commiting a vile crime against these children.  If, while you're at it, you want to join us on the rest of the intactivist front, that would be awesome, too.  Rome wasn't built in a day, though, so I very much believe that we need to target as many individual atrocities as we can while trying to educate people on the bigger picture.  Dr. Dix Poppas' "research" is, without a doubt, a prime example of one of those individual atrocities.

Will you stand with me?  Will you express your outrage to Weill Medical College and Cornell University?  An email, a phonecall, a letter.  Spread the word.  Above all, stand with me to MAKE HIM STOP.

Wordless Wednesday: Deer and Kitten and Bug, Oh My!

Give-Away update!

I have not forgotten my promise, darlings!

I am, however, waiting on a couple of artists to decide what they're going to offer up to you.  And, because I'm a benevolent mail-order goddess, I am going to make the give-away seven items instead of five.  It is (and has been) open internationally, so all of you may enter.

Right now, there are three definites:  AM's must-haves for baby kit, AM's must-haves for munchkins kit, and AM's must-haves for mommy kit.  We have three artists - one that does beautiful hand-painted scrabble tile pendants, one that works with clay, and another mixed-media.  All are stay/work-at-home mamas.

Stay tuned, it's coming!  I promise!

Cat 'o 9, please! (FlogYoBlog Friday!!!)

If you're new, there's an awesome linky party started by Brenda over at Mummy Time called FlogYoBlog Friday!

The idea is to link up, blog hop, network, make friends, make faces, make pie... wait, some of those things are not like the other.  Or are they?  *imaginary strokes imaginary beard and ponders friend-face pies*

Anyway.

Here are Brenda's rules!  We must all play by the rules, lest we get punished.  (The flogging will continue until morale or obedience improves!)

1. Follow my (and/or Brenda's) blog. (if you haven't already done so).
2. Grab Brenda's bubbly button and post it on your sidebar. 
3. Link your First Name/Blog Name and URL below. 
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post.
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (I've extended the closing time by the way, to accommodate my non-aussie peeps).
7. A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.
8. And lastly, have lotsa fun.

Things-that-are-awesome Thursday!

This Things-that-are-awesome Thursday brings you a place!

My long-time friends Bev Webb and Fredo Gonzalez have decided to be REALLY grown-up, (like, to an extent that I can't wrap my brain around, because I totally don't feel like a grown-up, even though we're all the same age,) and have opened Gainesville's newest beer bar!

The Midnight boasts more than 60 bottled beers from around the world, Seven beers on tap (with more to come!) and a full, diverse list of wines.  There are also non-alcoholic beverages available for the designated drivers.

Swamp Head Brewery's Midnight Oil - a delicious coffee oatmeal stout from Gainesville's only brewery! 

The atmosphere is intimate but fun, and I can easily foresee The Midnight becoming the "Cheers" of the Gainesville area.  Popcorn is served instead of peanuts, and a food menu is going to be implemented in the near future.

 Left to Right: Pages one through four of the "short" menu.  The "long" menu also includes the history of the different types of beer, as well as tidbits on the different breweries and special brews.

While it is a very friendly place run by wonderful people, the atmosphere is definitely not "family friendly."  It is, however, the perfect spot for a mom's night out, or a mommy and daddy date night, since it is definitely targeted towards the mature younger crowd.  (Read as:  You probably won't find the ridiculous hipsters, nor will you be surrounded by the frat boys and sorostitutes you would otherwise be subject to at the rest of Gainesville's drinking establishments.)

The specials board!

Even if The Midnight weren't owned and operated by friends of mine, I would still give it this glowing review.  The prices are right, the ambiance is awesome, and one other VERY cool thing that I have yet to find: They take suggestions!!!  Can't find a beer or wine on the menu that you'd desperately like to see?  There is a suggestion box, where the suggestions are seriously entertained on a regular basis.

B

Bev Webb, proud co-owner, GM, Bartender and all-around awesome lady!

For those of you in the area, please - check it out.  You won't be disappointed!  For those of you not in the area... come visit. ;)

My thank you speech...

Got eaten by the homework monster.

KB over at Wander Lust bestowed upon me my first (and very, very special, for a number of reasons,) award.  Like I said, my thank you speech got eaten, but KB... Well, there aren't any words.  Thank you for your support. 

Behold, the "Don't Even Fuck With Me" award!

And now, I would like to pay it forward.  There are a couple of amazing women that stand out in my mind who've been dealing with their share, and I think they need to know (in shiny graphic format) that I've got their backs.

KB, this one's for you too, honey.  Wander Lust

Bonnie, you're stronger than you know.  Your courage to say what you did proves it without a doubt.  Violator

Introspection.

I've neglected Things-that-are-awesome Thursday, and FlogYoBlog Friday.  I also have an award that I am deeply honoured to receive, but I am choosing to wait before publicly receiving it and sharing it.

I have had a week full of introspection about where my life is as an individual, because as a parent I'm really kind of right on track.  That prevented me from blogging on Thursday.

Friday morning brought news of the tragic passing of a schoolmate that while I wasn't particularly close to, I had at least one class with every semester, for four years.  The short of it is that she ended her own life.

This news had an unexpected effect on me.  I've lost other classmates before, and as with this one, we were friendly but not close.  I certainly mourned their passing, and felt a deep sympathy for their families and friends.  They're ALL tragic in their own right - we're young in the grand scheme of things.  Some left behind children, all left behind an aching void in the lives of those they were close to.

Heather's passing, however, left me a bit lost.  Here's why:  I've been there before.

I've toed the edge of the depthless chasm she ultimately stepped off of.  I know what it's like to be enveloped in that darkness and that hopelessness.  I even know what it's like to slip, though I'm incredibly blessed that there was miraculously someone there to throw me a rope when I had slipped over the ledge, before I hit the bottom from which I couldn't return.

I was angry when I learned of her death.  I was angry that I hadn't reached out to her long before now, and I felt immensely guilty, knowing that I may have been able to, through my complete understanding of where she was, help her.

Of course, none of these feelings were valid logically, because I also know that when you set your mind to make that movement off the ledge, you mean it.  I also know well that she had many friends and family who had tried to help her before.

What can I say?  I'm semi-Catholic.  Guilt is what I do.

I've decided that in addition to my other philanthropic pursuits, I want to give a little piece of myself to one more thing, on a more personal level.

I want every one of you, readers, to know that *someone* understands.  If you ever find yourself so overwhelmed and exhausted that you're considering just giving up, know that there is someone who knows exactly where you are, and that they care.  That I want you to make a bet with me and put up a fight, even if it's just to prove me wrong.  Get angry, take solace, do whatever you must do.  Just don't give up. 

I can always be reached at accidentallymommy@gmail.com, and I often check here for comments multiple times a day.

Ultimately, there is no situation so bleak and hopeless that there is nothing left to live for.  Someone will always care for you and be left feeling bereft at your absence, even if it is just an anonymous Accidental Mommy on the internet. 

If you're so close that you don't think you can wait for me to check my email or my comments, there are other ways to find help and hope.

http://www.hopeline.com is the address for the Kristen Brooks Hope Center and the home of HopeLine, a 24 hour anonymous suicide prevention hotline.  The telephone number is 1-800-suicide.  (1-800-784-2433). 

I mean it when I say that I love you.  Every single one of you.  It may not be on the same level as your most intimate friends and family, but it IS love, and love should always count for something.

Be well, my friends, and be kind to yourselves.  You're always worth it.

It's Okay Tuesday

Borrowed from the ever-lovely Claire Marie, it's "Hey, it's okay!" Tuesday.

It's okay... to let your five year old run around the house half-naked.  She's comfortable in her skin, and knows she has to wear clothes in public.  Why not?

It's okay... to use a bottle glass of wine as a self-bribe to get things done.

It's okay... to look the other way when the kids let the dog finish their dinner, once in a while.

It's okay... to mourn the loss of your favorite vibrator, due to old age, as though you would mourn the loss of a friend.

It's okay... to pick your kid up from school in pajamma pants once in a while.

OH. MY. GODS.

Are ya'll sitting down?  Hang on, I need to.

Okay.  Now I'm sitting.

I have 51 followers!!!!!  I'm absolutely, completely, totally blown away.

Thank you, every single one of you, for listening to my ramblings.  I can't believe that even one of you would, but 51 is unbelievable to me.

I will be getting the give-aways posted this week, and if there's anyone that would like free promotion by offering an item for the give-away, I'm happy to do more than five items to promote you as a "thank you" for following me.  Email me at accidentallymommy@gmail.com if you're interested. :)