When life hands you lemons... that are infected with fungus... that also have worms...

So, AccidentallyMommy has AccidentallyBroken her leg.  Yep.  I was doing laundry (I knew that house cleaning was inherently bad for one's health!) and fell whilst exiting my laundry room.  The dog may or may not have had something to do with it, he refuses to 'fess up.  Anyways, one moment I was grumbling about the lack of white vinegar next to my washer so I could launder diapers, and the next I was on the floor.  I'll spare the squeamish the gory details, but the end result was an incomplete linear spiral fracture of the fibula, which in english means that it fractured clear through the middle long-wise, but stayed together.  There was also an open dislocation and tendon and ligament damage. 

Lots of surgery and screws and plates later, here I am, on orders to bear ZERO weight on that leg, which means crutches or a walker on  good days, the wheelchair on bad ones.  (I have vertigo directly attributed to the use of Lamictal as part of my pharmaceutical regimen to control my bipolar symptoms, as well as fibromyalgia that likes to flare at the drop of a hat.  Both of those things make using crutches or the walker very, very difficult.)

At this point I am three weeks post-surgery.  I am also a walking (see?  I'm punny.) plague.  What started out in the household as a virus has turned into an ear infection in Kinder Major, potential ear infection in Bug, Bronchitis in my mother and sister, and Bronchitis AND double ear infection AND sinus infection in me.

"Where the hell is she going with all of this, does she think we want her life history?" you're asking.  Bear with me, I'll get to the good part here in a minute.

What does a parent DO with two young children when they feel like death and can barely wipe their own ass, let alone get down on the floor to play and entertain?  Well... here's some ideas that will work for anyone.  I gave you all of the above background info to PROVE that they'll work for everyone.  If I can make them work, you can, too.

• TV screen whiteboard drawing.  Now, this only works if you have a glass-faced television, and if you have opaque white board markers.  That said, pausing your favorite movies and giving the paused characters various... ahem... accessories... like moustachios and funny hats and kitty ears and glasses... well, it leads to hours and hours worth of hilarity that can be very easily wiped off.
• DVD case Jenga.  Standard Jenga pieces are waaay to small for little hands, IMO.  Hell, they're too small for my hands.  DVD cases, however, are light, large, and (at least in our house,) abundant.  Played on the floor or a coffee table, it's a simple but fun activity that can be done without the worry of someone breaking/scuffing anything important or losing small pieces.
• Coffee Table Chef.  Because my house is NOT handicap friendly, I've had to be very creative with my food options during the day when no one is home that can safely use the stove or the microwave.  As a result, there is a variety of ingredients that do not require cooking in any way left in a low shelf in the fridge.  It is not unheard of for Kinder Major to bring them in and spread them out on the table, where I then tell her to pick two or three things and we come up with ideas of what to make.  She gets to help and have fun by doing most of the making, of course. :)  It's a little messy, (okay, a lot messy,) but it's great for her self-esteem and yields something much yummier than peanut butter on crackers.

There are other wonderful activities that fall into more traditional categories, such as playing dolly pretend, being the rapt audience in an impromptu fashion show, reading, coloring, drawing, singing and sit-down crafts that are minimally messy.  If you're like me and staring six more weeks of frustration down, though, sometimes you need to think outside the box.

I hope you may find these ideas helpful, and at the same time I pray it's not for the same reasons I do. 

Have some out-of-the-box solutions of your own?  By all means, feel free to comment.  Likewise, watch the comments, you may find more things to add to your own personal arsenal.  :)