Crunchy without the woo.

 "I was deep in the woo for a little while. I wanted that home birth for theoretical baby number three, right down to researching medical texts for instructions on abating post-partum hemorrhage for Pater Pueri so that he could keep me from bleeding out if I needed it. And then someone I know (on the internet,) had a tragic, tragic home birth. It opened my eyes. It made me realize that the quiet, serene home birth I envisioned for myself was just that - for myself. It was selfish, it was stupid, and above all, it was putting my child last."  


Those were my words, above, after reading through the blog "Hurt by Homebirth." (http://hurtbyhomebirth.blogspot.com)

There's a lot of drama on the interwebz right now between that nutball Gina over at The Feminist Breeder, and Dr. Amy Tuteur. I won't lie - I side with Dr. Amy.

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a midwife. I wanted to be an ARNP with a midwifery bridge, working with a like-minded high-risk OB to help women who wouldn't otherwise receive the gentler care they would have had their pregnancies been low-risk.  I wanted to be a medwife.  I dreamed of starting that particular model of medwifery and opening up a whole new world, a new niche, a new experience.

The sociopolitical climate of the world of midwifery right now has suspended those dreams, though, forever to be tucked back into the recesses of my box of hopes and dreams, someday to be realized but not now.

I also firmly believe in vaccinations, medication, and western medicine.

This leaves the conundrum for many... how do we find the balance between our crunchy urges and the woo that is so prevalent? How do we keep from getting wrapped up in the woo and the brainwashing, mob mentality that is running roughshod over the birth and baby/child community?

The answer is not simple. It's willpower. It's research. It's taking sides and standing tall and firm, no matter how unpopular it may make you with certain friends.

I'm still a crunchy mom. I believe in extended breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, extended rear-facing car seating, and eating as locally, organically, and healthfully as possible within one's means. I'm anti-circumcision, I cloth diapered, I recycle and upcycle, I garden sustainably.  But I also acknowledge the bad that comes with the good, and I acknowledge that every decision comes at a cost.

All I ask of you, whether I've gained or lost my popularity with you from this post, is that you consider the same.

On learning styles and life lessons.

You know, there's a WHOLE lot of talk of "creating a critical thinker" when it comes to nurturing young children.

I'm of two minds on this.  On one hand, I agree that yes, we should encourage our children to think critically, and nurture their analytical skills while they're so open to it and so naturally curious.  On the other hand, though, I don't think that every moment of your child's life should be spent teaching some sort of lesson or thinking skill.

I take great issue with mothers who sneer at me when I respond "she wasn't" to questions like "how high was Kinder Major counting when she was two?"

Kinder Major showed a great right-brain preference from a very early age.  She was drawn very strongly to music and color, and showed a vested interest in coloring and painting by 11 months.  I nurtured that creativity.  Instead of teaching her counting and numbers and her alphabet at such a young age, I taught her color names and allowed her to play in paint and with crayons.  We colored on "her" wall next to my bed at night.  We read books together that were filled with color and texture, we sang and listened to music of all kinds, we danced and played with blocks.  As she continued to develop cognitively, she proved to have a knack for engineering based on aesthetics.  Again, I nurtured that.

A big part of attachment parenting is *knowing* your child and nurturing their innate abilities.  I don't feel that forcing "critical thinking" education on a child that doesn't learn that way is following that facet of APing.  I believe that every child is different, and should be nurtured as such.

Now, please don't interpret that to mean "don't encourage curiosity and awareness" - that's not what I'm saying.  What I AM saying, though, is don't bully your pediatrician into making a referral for speech and occupational therapy for your 18 month old because they haven't learned their entire alphabet yet.  (True example.)  Don't fill your child's day with structured learning, either.  Allow your child to grow at their own pace, and to be a child, especially if they are still on the variable line between late infancy and early toddlerhood.  Hell, even later toddlers.  Allow them to be them, and allow them to grow as they will.  Our children are not meant to be clones, nor are they meant to be programmed to fit our personal agendas on what we feel the perfect child should be.  They are their own person, and should be allowed to grow as such.

That is a life lesson that we all need to learn as we grow with our children.  Likewise, we should apply the same concepts to ourselves, since respectively, most of us are infants in our parenting lives.  We need to remember that we are all different, and allow ourselves to grow as we will, instead of as someone else (or even our pre-child selves) think we should.  We need to have confidence and faith in ourselves that we will thrive, and only with that confidence will our children form their own.

<3

Babywearing Bliss

Photodump of Babywearing pics.  The stars of the show (as always,) are Kinder Major - 5 years, 44 lbs and 44" tall; Snow White - 2 years, ~30 lbs; Bug - 17 lbs, 27" tall.  Carriers pictured are: Grey stretchy knit wrap (Affectionately called the "Meby" in my house, standing for "me-made moby,") Cream and blue Kiddie Winkles Designs woven wrap, a black organic "Iris" Ergo carrier, and a grey "Galaxy" Ergo carrier.)