Pneumonia in mom and the special needs child.

Pneumonia is not an easy ailment to deal with.  It leaves you breathless, exhausted, with your head swimming from a lack of oxygen.  You wheeze like an old ford truck on a frosty morning, and you bark like a seal when you cough.  Every muscle hurts from the coughing.

So what the hell do you do when you're coping with this little slice of medical hell and you have a special needs child who demands alllll of your attention allllll of the time?

Number one: Take your damn antibiotics.  Put it on the same timer that your birth control pill is on, take it when you make breakfast, but make sure you take it.

Number two: Pre-made foods are not the devil.  Frozen french toast, bagel bites, and canned ravioli are all acceptable food mediums with which your little darling can paint the room.

Number three: Dora.  Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  The Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that.  These will be your friend whilst you convalesce on the couch, still wheezing like that old ford.

What to do when your little darling demands to be on top of you, because you're an attachment parent and have worn said little darling since day one, and it's now year three and he thinks he still has to be touching you or on you at all times?  You begin the weaning and self-soothing process.

Fair warning, this may involve lollypops as rewards.

The long and the short of it? Take care of yourself.  Your kiddo, while being special needs, IS CAPABLE of playing on their own, soothing on their own, eating on their own, and pottying on their own, when you need them to be.  The NF1 makes Bug a very dependent child in many ways, but these coping mechanisms, while not necessarily the ideal activities for every day, will make it possible for you to take care of yourself while still providing the basic necessities for your child.

Oh, and one more thing - going over all the therapy techniques that are required by the therapists that you see three times or more a week?  Those can slide a little too.

The "Woman Child" and my role as one.

I just want to make it boiled-bones clear here.  I do not live with my family because I enjoy it.  I do not live with them because I am afraid to live alone.  I do not live here because I can't hack it in the real world.

I live here because as a single mother to not one, but two special needs children, it is a necessity.  I crunch the numbers on a regular basis, and daydream about paying my own mortgage instead of rent to my parents, and realize that in order for us to survive, I would need to work two to three jobs, and both kids would need daycare.

I'm not willing to put a child who doesn't speak and therefore can't tell me if he's being abused into the hands of strangers.  I'm not willing to put a child with a potentially life threatening condition into the hands of strangers.  It's bad enough that I have to put her in the hands of her teacher every day.  At least, though, that's one room with at least two pairs of adult eyes at all times.  A daycare at her age would mean that she could literally be seizing in a corner and no one would notice because she's a "big kid."

The day will come when I've finished school and have a job that will support the three of us on one single income, and that day will be beautiful regardless of the weather.  Until then, though, we're here.  We're part of a village, my kids get extra love, and whether I like it or not, I've got support when I need it and when I don't.

There's my ground, and I'm standing it.  The rest of you, those holier-than-thou with partners and their own homes who want to write articles, point fingers, or be smug and judgmental can fuck right off.  Go sit in the corner with my ex.