Tackling Taboo: Bipolar Parents

With the decriminalization of Postpartum Depression through massive amounts of media coverage, I'd like to try and create a new initiative: decriminalizing and myth-busting Bipolar Disorder in parents.

You see, I'm a Bipolar Parent.  It's something that I tend to keep to myself, so writing this post is monumental for me.  With the pop-culture examples like the story of Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest and the fictional but true-to-life tale in Blue Sky, disclosing Bipolar Disorder to the general public is met with discrimination and even fear.  Telling most people that you're a PARENT and Bipolar, though, is met with judgement and assumed abuse.

That is absolutely not the case in many (if not most,) families with a Bipolar parent.

See, we're no different from a mother with PPD or a father with PTSD.  We go to counseling, we make decisions in conjunction with our physicians on which therapeutic pharmaceuticals to take, and we manage our lives so that outside stressors and triggers are avoided.  If anything, parents with BPD are MORE careful in how well their disease is managed.  We are, afterall, parents.  It is not our disease that defines us in most cases; it's our children and our desire to be functional members of society just like everyone else.  Our disease is simply a speed bump that must be navigated around.

Now, that's not to say it isn't difficult sometimes.  As with any long-term disease, certain treatments may cease to work to their fullest.  Physicians and therapists will occasionally move or close their practices.  Outside stressors and triggers can't always be avoided.  In those situations, it's crucial to have a support system in place such as an understanding partner, supportive family, and a friend or two that is close enough to be trusted with watching our children for an emergency doctor's appointment or a late-night phone call for a sanity check.

A common myth is that a woman who gets pregnant - either by choice or by mistake - is automatically putting her fetus at risk by taking dangerous drugs that will cause terrible deformities.  This is exactly that: a MYTH.  I will not discuss specific medications in this blog because I am not a licensed pharmacist or physician, but there are multiple psychotropic medications approved for the management of BPD that are also considered relatively safe for use during pregnancy.

Another myth: mothers with BPD cannot breastfeed due to the medication they're taking.  Wrong again!  See above for the debunking of this myth.

Myth 3:  BPD is genetic and any person who reproduces is automatically sentencing their child to a life of misery and insanity.  Incorrect!  While yes, genetics do play a role in BPD, it is not a guarantee that the offspring of parents with BPD will end up with a positive diagnosis later in life.


Myth 4:  Parents with BPD are incapable of being responsible enough to take care of children properly, or they are child abusers.  This is probably the myth that bothers me the most.  Being Bipolar does not automatically make one a bad parent!  It is my experience that those of us with BPD are *MORE* attentive to our children, even OVER attentive, and due in part to that myth exactly!  BPD is no more an indicator of how fit a person is to parent than Diabetes or Asthma or Allergies is.  Joan Crawford is NOT the norm, here, people!

There is a wonderful web resource for friends, family, and those afflicted with BPD called Bipolar Lives if anyone has more questions or would like to research the condition more.  Please - educate yourselves!  Help debunk the popular and incorrect opinions that run rampant in our society today.  Most importantly, remember that even those of us parents with BPD are people, too.