Laptop repair!

Check out Go Green Computing, LLC in Gainesville, FL.  They don't just do repair, they do procurement as well.  Right now they're running a $10 off special!  Tell them Jackie sent you, or that you saw their ad on Accidentally Mommy!

Pink Pixies

Assemble your tools! MSC Pink Ladies, Pixie, Greased Lightening, and Beauty School Dropout.  UDPP, NYX Shadow base in white, WnW mascara, generic mahogany brown liner, Sephora Lash Primer.

Nakey eye!

 Eye with UDPP and NYX

 Line your lower lash line with the mahogany brown.

 Using an angled shadow brush, pick up some Pink Ladies.

 Apply to inner half of lid.

 Pick up some Pixie with an XL pencil brush.

 Fill in crease and outer half of lid.  Blend gently with finger.

 Using a fluffy shadow brush, pick up some Beauty School Dropout.

 Apply lightly with a very, very gentle sweeping motion over entire eye, including over Pixie and Pink Ladies.

 With a stiff liner brush, pick up some Greased Lightening.

 Set the mahogany liner with Greased Lightening, and line the upper outer half of your eye with it, as well.

 Upper lid - zoom in and check out the pearly glitteryness that Beauty School Dropout creates.

Lower lash line

 Add some lash primer...

And some mascara...

Et Voila!  Stay Madd, darlings!

Courage under fire.

And oh, the fire I'm sure there will be.  I want to rant here, a moment, about something near and dear to me.

"Medwives" versus "Midwives."

Now, before I get started, I want to acknowledge that there are exceptions to both sides, and more than one or two.  I have met lay midwives that have attended more births than two OB's combined, who are very knowledgeable than said OB's.  I have met nurse midwives who couldn't figure out which end the baby was supposed to emerge from.

THAT SAID:

I firmly believe that nurse midwives are the way to go.

I believe in home birth.  I believe in taking back your birth.  But I'm also a realist.  I KNOW that things go terribly wrong.  I know that in those moments, the difference between the education a CNM has versus that which a CPM has can mean life or death for one or both patients, mother and/or child.

"But Mama Jackie, you wanted to be a midwife.  How can you say such things?" That's just it.  I never wanted to be just a lay midwife.  I wanted to be a CNM, with my ARNP, practicing in a high-risk HOSPITAL environment.  I wanted to work cohesively with an OB who was similarly minded, with the ideal of giving a high-risk mother the option to have a more personalized, transparent experience.

Now, don't throw Ina May Gaskin in here.  Yes, she's a lay midwife, but she's attended over a thousand births, and not only has she worked within the medical community, she has developed a model for resolving shoulder dystocia during vaginal birth that is taught to every OB practicing.  She is an exception, and there are very few lay midwives that even pale in comparison, let alone come near her wealth of knowledge.

Let's look at a situation close to home here, and the comparison between how a CNM would be able to handle it and how a LPM would be able to handle it.

Post-partum hemorrhage.  Without going into textbook citations, the steps for management are as follows: External massage, internal massage, administration of antihemorrhagics, fluids, transfusion.  A CNM would  be licensed to have those antihemorrhagics on hand.  Those include Oxytocin/Pitocin and Tranexamic Acid.

PPH can become fatal in as little as five minutes.  In this situation, the attending practitioner must be well-trained in such a trauma situation and be able to assess and act quickly.  A LPM would not have received the clinical experience to efficiently deal with such a complication.  The insertion of an IV alone by a LPM, if they did happen to have those drugs on hand, could take up to five minutes alone as they receive little to no training in venipuncture in most cases.

Think, mamas.  Think about the pro's and con's, and remember that not all midwives are created equal.  Is it worth the life of you or your babe?

Robotic Waffle Ravens

I bet ya'll thought I forgot to do makeup, didn't you

I didn't.  I simply ran into about five months collective worth of technical difficulties that prevented me from sharing my pretties with you.

I'm happy to say, though, that I'm back with a vengeance.

Assemble thine tools!

Here we have UDPP depotted, NYX Eyeshadow Primer in White, MSC Raven Feathers, Blueberry Waffle, Birf'day Suit (did NOT end up being used,) and Mr. Roboto.  Also pictured is Wet 'n Wild MegaPlump mascara, Rimmel London kohl eyeliner in black, and Sephora mascara primer.  Assorted brushes, as well.

Start out with your UDPP and your NYX.  Not too opaque, this is a day look.

Pat the Blueberry Waffle using a fluffy angled brush all along your eye lid.

Using a pointed/domed crease brush, apply the Raven Feathers to the outer corner and up into the crease of your eyes.

Going from the ducts to your brow, use Mr. Roboto.  Also use Mr. Roboto to blend out the Raven Feathers into the Blueberry Waffle.

Apply your eyeliner in a tight line under your lower lashes.

Now go ahead and use your mascara primer.  I'm finding that despite being initially goopy, I really really like Sephora's.  Once it's dry, use a lash comb for definition.

Then go ahead and apply your mascara.  The mascara I used today was NOT waterproof, but I've noticed that with the mascara primer, it tends to be more water resistent.

Et voila! You have a lovely daytime look with a little bit of sultry on those beautiful peepers of yours.  Looks great with and without glasses!

Until next time, stay Madd, darlings!

Dating with a diaper bag

I went on a blind, internet date last night.  First date in three years - no pressure on him or anything.

I spent the entire day fretting.  Was my hair frizzy? Did I remember how to put on makeup? Did I need blush? What about my legs, did I shave my legs right with this newfangled electric razor?

Then there was the purse.  The dreaded but oh-so-necessary mom purse/diaper bag.  It's all I had.  I literally don't own anything else.  What I did own that could have flown for something decidedly less domestic decided to stage a coup and have a strap-snap.

It's never been a secret that dating mystifies me.  I was never very good at it, and now that I have kids I'm even more inept.  But it's necessary.  Even if the outcome of the date is just a night out with an adult, meant to be nothing more than a night out with an adult, it is vital to keeping your sanity.

We went out for drinks, and I learned a lot.  Not just about him, but about myself.  It was a moment of clarity, an epiphany, one of those times where the lights come down from the heavens to illuminate certain key points of existence and provide clarity on the mysteries of being a single parent.

Things I learned on this date that I'd like to pass along to you, my dearest readers:

1. First dates are infinitely easier when the person said date is with has a child, themselves.  Yes, you talk about your kids.  It's inevitable - but it's OKAY.  They understand, and in the rapport they talk about their own.  You share stories, war wounds, laughs, tips.  It brings the liberation of not having to compartmentalize yourself and seal away a part of you, or two or three parts of you, that you can never really cut off.

2.  Don't fret over the purse.  Seriously. He wouldn't have noticed if I had brought a bowling ball bag, I don't think.

3.  Find things to laugh about.  Be silly.  Keeping your back ram-rod straight whilst good for posture is bad for soul. Yes, you're a parent, but you're also a person.  Don't forget who that person is, and let that person shine.

4.  Beer is better when it goes IN your mouth, and not on your date.  For that reason, I pray that my dates never wear dry-clean only suits, and I never do either. ;) (Here's lookin' at you, kid.  It was an awesome way to break the rest of the ice.)

5.  Don't be afraid of chemistry.  Take that post-drink/dinner walk, talk some more.  If you brush up against them, IT'S OKAY.  We're all so used to creating huge bubbles of personal space, especially with our kids in tow so that strangers don't end up with chocolate fingerprints on their Fendi bags, that we may shy away from accidental or timid purposeful contact.  Don't.  Take a deep breath and embrace it, embrace them, let that chemistry send chills down your spine if your lips meet or your hands clasp.

Lastly? Sometimes it's okay to sneak back out after you come home and the kids are in bed, just so you can talk and kiss for four hours more.

Stay Madd, my darlings.  It's the only way to survive these seasons.

On babies (and mamas) who others think shouldn't be.

We all know I was an accidental mommy. My pregnancy with Kinder Major was flawless, and even enjoyable.  It could be argued, though, that I wasn't meant to be.  Moments after delivering a beautiful, angry red-haired little girl, I began to bleed uncontrollably.  I was so tired.  All I wanted to do was sleep off the pain I was in as I bled and bled.

But they fought me, and my mother fought me, and I stayed awake.  I stayed here for my baby.  I stayed here because I wanted to be, whether the universe wanted it or not.

Things with Bug were not so peaceful.  A sub-chorionic hemorrhage during my first trimester. Hit by a car second trimester.  Third trimester, pre-eclampsia, fetal distress, premature birth by induction.

I call him the little engine that could.  In spite of all of those things, he persevered.  He was the little fetus that could.

I hemorrhaged again after his birth, and again I wanted to just sleep.  This time I sent my mother away, instructing her to never leave the side of my baby, my little boy blue, not breathing, not stirring.

We danced with fate, the three of us.  Plenty of people who have heard our stories comment on how we, in one form or another, shouldn't be.

I believe they're wrong, though.  Our existence, and the way we fought to be a family, us three, makes life all the sweeter.  It makes it worthwhile to be.

Happy Earth Day!

It's that day of the year again, where we set aside our normal routines and green things up a bit.  I do, anyway.

One of the things that I believe most strongly in is advocating for those who can't, and that includes our earth.  I don't just do it for myself, though, I do it to get the children involved and teach them a sense of personal responsibility for the planet we live on.

Now, activism with children is not taking them out on a greenpeace boat and attempting to destroy fishing boats and fishing nets.  No, activism can be much more subtle and age appropriate.  Activism is simply taking steps towards restoring and saving the resources we have available to us.

For example, right now in Florida, our groundwater is being tapped and pumped for companies to use for bottled water.  This is causing a multitude of problems, including backflow of rivers into our natural springs, causing "brown outs" of the normally crystalline blue waters.  Kinder Major has become quite the activist, writing letters and sending them to the water management district, the EPA, our governor, and even the private water bottling companies themselves.  She has, in a stroke of child genius, included pictures she's drawn of the fun times she's had in those springs and rivers, and what she feels will happen to them if the continued draws keep occurring.

Activism can be simpler than that, even.  We were briefly involved in a project called "The Need-A-Bag project." The premise was simple - provide reusable shopping bags to the patrons of our local farmer's market.  Due to a lack of response in the area we chose to open our branch we no longer participate, but that small act was activism alone.

If you're the type that is hesitant to go out and be bold due to whatever reason, remember that even the small act of responsibly growing one's own veggies is a form of activism.  Sustainable agriculture, no matter how small, is one of the many ways we as citizens can rebel against large corporations like Monsanto who are intent on dominating the agricultural market.  Growing your own food, visiting farmer's markets, purchasing from local small farmers - those are all ways you can get involved and be part of the global movement.  Not to mention that it's wonderful fun for the kids to get out there and get dirty, after which they get to witness the magic that is a garden- their garden- grow.

Don't have enough land to grow a full garden? No worries.  Pumpkins, squash, tomatoes, berries, radishes, carrots, herbs, and many other edible plants can be easily grown in containers on a back porch or balcony.  If you're unsure of what you need or how to do it, ask here, ask at your local nursery, but do make sure you ask.  There's nothing quite as satisfying as a meal made with the literal fruits of your labor.

Kinder Major starting seeds for pumpkins, green beans, tomatos and squash.

Don't just sit around today, folks.  Get involved.  Get your kids involved.  Go pick up trash in a local preserve, plant a garden, start some seeds, offer up some of your extra re-usable shopping bags at a market.  Do something.  This is our planet and our society.  Use this earth day as a wake-up call and make it count so that EVERY day becomes earth day.

XOXO,

Accidentally Mommy.