Monday, March 29, 2010

The one where she gets kinda pissed off.

I've ranted before how deeply angry I get at the snobbery that is running like a bandit through birth and mothering communities these days.

This time it's personal, you fuckingmothers.  (Present company excluded, of course.)

While I hold dearly to the idea that one's intellectual property and any forum set up in affiliation is private property, with rules to be made by the owner, I DON'T hold that someone can be called a liar, or a troll, or an instigator when they're genuinely trying to participate and share something they're proud of.  That's straight up rude, and I certainly hope their mamas would be ashamed of them.

See, I had the dreaded hospital births.

Meeting my beautiful Ella girl in the hospital.  No awesome immediately after birth pics for this one, I held her for a split second before I started trying to bleed to death and all, so she was about 7 hours old before I was strong enough to say hello.  I do have one shot (somewhere, on a cd, buried under about a million other cd's,) of the inept doc immediately as she caught her.  Will dig that out when I'm more motivated.

OMG TEH HORRORZ U GUIZE!!!!!  I'm a strong supporter of non-hospital births in many cases, but for various reasons (including bleeding disorder, severe asthma, kidney issues, the list goes on...) it's not a reality for me.  That doesn't mean my births were some sort of evil, institutional, abusive, wretched experiences that left my newborn permanently scarred and disfigured.  Yes, my first birth was less than ideal in that I didn't know the delivering physician and she was completely inept, but I'm quite happy with the birth itself.  It was orgasmic and spiritual, and my beautiful baby girl was born into a dimly lit, silent and comfortable birthing suite.  My birth with Bug was much, much better.  I had a provider I clicked well with that I understood and who understood me, and my entire labor was a dreamy event, filled with laughter from alll parties.  My birth attendants, my nurses, my doctor - there was so much laughter and love that tales of it made the rounds and I later became known as the laughing woman.  (Original, right?)

I had an IV.  I had an epidural.  I had an O2 sat monitor on.  I had CFM.  I ALSO had a very easy labor, and an even easier delivery.  Laughter, four pushes, orgasm, baby on my chest.  ALL KINDS OF AWESOME.  The room was dimly lit, the birthing suite was comfortable and occupied by my mother and a dear friend.  This time there wasn't silence, there was laughter and happy sounds.

I wanted to share a photograph of my beautiful son on my chest seconds after he greeted the world, in the hospital, as I still smiled, and I was told no.

That would have been okay if it had stopped there.

Instead, I was called names.  I was told that I must certainly be lying, that I must certainly be there only to taunt mothers who had bad experiences and to defile the ideologies of those who disagreed with medical births.

My feelings aren't hurt.  Ho no, my friends.  I'm fucking PISSED.

Jesus god, people.  Who are they to say that it's IMPOSSIBLE to have a happy and fulfilling birth in a medical setting?  I don't sit and tell them that they're fruit loops for holding hands, singing kumbaya, and applying crystals to their chakras for pain relief, do I?  No, I acknowledge that they feel it worked for them, and I rejoice in the end product!

THIS.  THIS RIGHT HERE.  This is why I'm considering abandoning my path to becoming a pregnancy and birth care provider.  Quite frankly, the bullshit is piling up, and it's becoming less and less apparent why I want to dive head first into it.  I can't help other mothers who need a more traditional and transparent care provider that are otherwise denied the opportunity if I'm so frustrated by the verbal barbs and open disdain that I'm miserable.

It's not just the internet, either.  You'd think I was putting babies on spikes. (cue to 00:40, NSFW humor)  Seriously, talking to these people when I try to network IRL is excruciating.  Apparently, the idea of someone going to midwifery school to become a midwife, and then WORKING WITH A DOCTOR (never mind that it's to challenge the system from the inside, be a voice for change, provide high-risk mothers with options that are considerably unheard of, and generally do good,) is apparently the most appalling thing these people have ever heard. 

Insert giant *headdesk* here.

Bah.  You know what?  Fuck those shrews right in the ear.  I'm going to share my awesome picture.  I'm going to share it with you.  Under the jump for those who may be at work or what have you, since there's OMG naked.  (Oh yeah!  That's the other thing!  I got to labor and deliver nigh on naked, and had the option of being completely naked if I wanted!  I spent my last two hours of labor with my button down shirt buttoned down, my bare breasts and belly viewable for all the world!  The ONLY reason I kept the shirt on was because I was concerned I'd get chilly at some point!) Ahem.  Anyways.  Here ya go!  My VERY proud moment, holding my beautiful little blue bug, before the bleeding started.

1 comment:

  1. Aww, good for you! =D You look happy. I had a fabulous hospital birth -- they were very honest about interventions, they didn't try to force me into anything I didn't want, and the whole thing had been updated something like three years ago.

    I think home births are great for people who really want them, but it's not practical for me and my family. I do think I'd look into a midwife in the hospital the next time, if it's available. My friend had her daughter on Fort with a midwife, and she had a decent birth. (Well, moderately; a couple things went kind of wrong.)